Mamas, it's okay to say no. As moms we tend to be pulled in many different directions and there is an expectation that we might have extra time on our hands to volunteer. Today I'm going to teach you how to stop saying “yes” when you want to say “no.” I'll teach you how to discover what is your highest purpose, calling and your highest good and to say yes only to that. Doing this will help you to reduce stress and live a more emotionally balanced life as a mom. Let's talk about what it means and how to live it out!
I shared my thoughts on this affirmation in a live Facebook video I did, which you can watch below!
As mothers, we can feel pulled in so many directions. Volunteering for school, church, sports teams, dance, gymnastics – the call can seem to come from everywhere! And we want to do all we can to give our children an amazing childhood, but saying yes to all of the good things in our lives doesn't mean we get more and more good in our lives. It can instead make us frazzled, tired, and depleted. And that means we are not saying yes to our highest good.
Your Job as a Mom is the Most Important Job You Will Ever Have
Pouring into these precious souls that have been entrusted to us is the highest and most honorable calling we will ever have. Raising emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy adults is a community, country and even world contribution. Being mothers IS volunteer work by itself. In order to feel like you are enough, always keep in the forefront of your mind that being a mom by itself IS an incredible accomplishment.
Being a Mom is a Holy and Honorable Calling
Being a mom is a holy calling – we GET to nurture these precious spirits. We GET to be there for them and raise them into adults that are able to contribute to their families and communities, which is a ripple effect that does impact your state, country and even the world! How? Because we are all interconnected. Our actions affect others.
Being a mom is the most honorable volunteer work there is. So do not let yourself ever believe that you NEED to do more to be enough – do more because it brings you joy, adds to your life, because it fills you up and is FUN! But don't do more outside of being a mom in order to feel like your contributions might finally measure up.
You simply being a mom measures up – it is enough! Everything else on top of that is gravy, is bonus. And actually, you just being a child of God by itself is enough, but that's a whole other subject for another day!
Questions to Ask Yourself when Opportunities to Do More Arise
- Does this excite me, or is it a burden?
- Does this bring me joy?
- Do I feel stress when I think of this?
- Does this excite my kids?
- Does this bring my kids joy?
- Does this line up with our family values and goals?
Know Your Family Values and Goals
That last question brings us to this – it is so helpful to have your own values and goals, and to also have them for your family as a whole. How is it helpful?
Because it makes it easy to know what to say yes and no to – anything that doesn't line up with those goals or values is an easier “no.”
I encourage you to journal about your own personal dreams, goals, values and quality of life you want for yourself, and then sit down with your spouse and discuss it together. Then, discuss it with your kids and get their input, too.
Really listen to them and find out if what kind of quality of life they enjoy. Do they like to have a more full calendar? Do they really enjoy the sport or activities they are currently doing? Listen without judgement, without interrupting, and without judging yourself.
Know Your Personality
The last way to know whether or not an opportunity is in your highest good is to know your personality – know your strengths and weaknesses. For instance, I'm not an organized, detail-oriented person. So I have never been drawn to being a room mom or organizing class parties at school, of which they are many between my four kids!
So I don't say yes to volunteering for positions where detail-orientation and organized is needed. I know I will be really stressed out while doing the job and then I'm not going the highest good for me or anyone else!
Also, when you say yes to something that isn't in your highest good at the time, it closes the door for someone else who maybe perfect for the job.
My Favorite Personality Program
I have learned SO much from Carol Tuttle and her personality profiling program, Live Your Truth (the above graphic is from her program) . She has a free course you can learn from (click here), and a book, It's Just My Nature. I highly recommend both of them!
Embrace the Season of Life You're Currently In
I have turned out pretty much ALL volunteering opportunities because I continued to have more babies! It was just TOO much for me as I was barely staying afloat at home with all of the sleep deprivation and incredible physical toll pregnancies, babies, nursing and all of that takes upon us.
Once you are getting better sleep at night, maybe then you'll be able to say yes more, but again, make sure it's a yes for things you truly enjoy and would be good at.
Printable Affirmation Cards
Affirmations are very powerful when used properly. They can change habitual thoughts that aren't serving you into thoughts that can help you with your confidence, lower stress, and even have more success in your life!
Grab my printable affirmation card set here on Etsy so you can print out this affirmation and put it up on your bathroom mirror, fridge, and in your car to remind yourself of TRUTH on a regular basis.
Affirmations Album for Moms and Kids
If you combine the affirmation cards with my affirmations album, you'll really see transformation in your life! Check out my album here.