Growing up in church, I was always taught to trust and believe, to have faith that God is always working out things for my good. But I didn’t really feel or understand that and wasn’t sure how to actually do live it out in everyday life…until now! I’m sharing my journey of how I began to truly trust and how it led to surrender and peace.
I was standing at my kitchen sink…
I’ll never forget a few weeks ago when I realized I had truly surrendered to God, that I truly felt peace about my life. I was standing in my kitchen washing dishes, which is where, oddly enough, I have many of my epiphanies and light-bulb moments. You, too? It just hit me like a ton of bricks – I actually felt peace. This is what peace feels like – I felt joy, contentment, calm, rest. Like deep, still waters and even though I’m in a lot of action on the outside, I have this underlying stillness and peace that keeps me grounded and connected to the spirit of God within me.
The peace was such a foreign feeling for me that at first, it actually felt like laziness! Like, I no longer had this insatiable urge to be accomplishing and doing things anymore. I was much more present, enjoying the smaller, everyday moments with my family.
So how did I get to this point?
I changed those negative tapes
I have been speaking truth over my life and changing the negative, harmful tapes that were playing in my head for most of my life for three years now (see my original post – How I Broke Free of Complaining and Found Joy). So really, the journey began there. But that was only the very beginning!
I stopped trying to be perfect
I had such a tight grip on my life. When I first became a mom, I was basically OCD about the food, clothes, activities, and toys my kids could play with. I went so far as to basically we were not going to believe in Santa Claus because I didn’t want to teach my children a lie! Trying to be being perfect truly became a prison of my own making. It was putting all of the power and control in my hands, instead of truly letting go and allowing the power of the universe (God) work through me and work on my behalf.
You get what you focus on
Sure there are lots of things out there that can harm us and I truly believe we invite those harmful things into our lives as we FOCUS on them. So the key is to focus on all of the good that is in our families, homes and even in the world and we invite the good in instead of the bad and reduce a ton of stress!
I was super anxious about all of the toxins in our world (which I have so many posts about on this blog!). We still have a pretty toxin-free home, but I no longer stress about what will happen when we have things that aren’t natural around the house. Really employing the 80/20 rule!
I was living in total fear
I didn’t realize it then, but I was living in fear. Fear that I would fail as a mom. So if I controlled everything I thought I would be a perfect mom and then I couldn’t fail! Ha! We know that isn’t even possible, but I didn’t realize I was operating from that place. It was subconscious (which is why self-awareness is so important!).
I became so strict about food that I wouldn’t let my children have a cup of soda at a birthday party or eat any candy that wasn’t dye-free and free and perfect, which means they didn’t enjoy much when we were out and about. Poor kids! At least they were young enough to not think much of it.
I would also tell the grandparents what to buy for the kids so that we would only have battery-free, wooden toys that were educational and served a purpose. LOL! I can laugh about it now. Loosen up, girlfriend! Live a little!
Fear increases stress, which raises inflammation
All of those decisions were based in total fear, and the stress of that fear I truly believe outweighed any benefits that eating super healthy food was giving me! I think they cancel each other out, because fear causes stress. Stress causes your body to produce more cortisol and adrenaline, and increases inflammation which is the root cause of all disease!
I started to change how I thought about food – that it is not something to be restricted and controlled but something to be enjoyed! It is for nourishment, too. I still eat pretty healthy, and enjoy sweets when I want to and do not allow the guilt to come in when I do.
I started to trust in my intuition
This became my new mantra! To truly believe that God’s got my back, I’m not out here on my own having to figure things out.
I began to learn to trust my intuition, that still small voice within that is always right when I listen to it. I truly believe that is the voice of God within me! But now that I listen to it and ACT on it, the small voice of intuition has become loud for me! I feel like I hear so clearly from God now and I can act on things that may seem crazy or weird on the outside, but I have peace knowing I’m following the right way for ME.
Everything is working out for my good. God’s got this!
Surrender is going with the flow
I have begun to learn the art of going with the flow, which is a form of self-care and grace! When I’m tired, I trust that God’s got my back and it’s okay to rest. What I’d like to get done is what I’d LIKE to get done, not need to get done. It’s okay to stop and take a break. In fact, when I give into it instead of pushing myself through to exhaustion, I come back filled up with more creativity than ever! And I’m a much better mom, wife, friend – everything!
When I have energy, I do more. We are so conditioned to push through like it’s a badge of honor! We ignore our bodies’ and spirits’ signals and end up making poor decisions and often doing things we regret and crashing our health. It’s not worth it!
I can still be successful AND surrender. Especially as an entrepreneur, this was a BIG lesson for me to learn! It’s not either or, it’s BOTH, and it may not be in the time frame I wanted it to be in, but that’s okay. Most time frames are man-made and are a time line for someone else, not for everyone. What is MY timeline? That’s all that matters!
Other Inspirational Posts!
- How to Break Free from Comparison and Find Peace
- Why We are More than Our Labels
- How I Found Emotional Freedom
- How I Broke Free from Complaining and Found Joy
- How Not to Take Things Personally
- How to Stop Beating Yourself Up