Becoming a parent, and in my case, a mom, can be a very lonely and isolating experience, especially at first when babies need so much of our time and attention. It can feel harder than ever to have and to keep good friends in our lives and to actually see them! But with this affirmation and these tips, I think you can attract the right, supportive friends into your life that are just right for you like I have!
Affirmations Can Be Powerful
Before we go any further, make sure you check out my post Affirmations for Moms to learn why affirmations work and how to use them effectively. I dramatically changed the way I think, and therefore, my attitudes, emotions, mental and spiritual health when I started using affirmations in 2014. I can look back now and see how much I lived in fear and in stress before I began to change the way I think.
The affirmation we are going to use is:
I am loving how easy it is for me to make friends and the right ones come into my life effortlessly.
Say the Affirmation Aloud
So when you feel lonely, it can feel really silly to say that affirmation outloud because it's not currently true in your own life. You might think, “it's not easy at all for me to make friends! I'm shy!” But this is the key with affirmations – we use them to rewire our brains and change our habitual thoughts so we can begin to believe in what's possible and what COULD be true.
If you focus only on where you are now, you can't move forward. Essentially, that's wallowing, throwing yourself a pity party. And believe me, I've thrown myself many a pity party! But I've learned how they get me NO WHERE in the end. We go where we are looking – so look at what you want to be true!
How to Use the Affirmation
Print it out from my printable set here on Etsy, or write/type it on a piece of paper and tape it up in the spots around your house and in your car where you will see it daily! This keeps the truth before you – reminding you of what's possible and what could be true for you. It then activates your brain, or motivates your brain, to come up with a plan to make it happen. You'll find you'll get creative ideas to make that affirmation come true!
It's About Quality, Not Quantity
Currently you may feel like it isn't easy at all for you to make friends. I feel like mamas who are more introverted, quiet, and feeling shy feel like it's the hardest for them. But what we're focusing on here is not making LOTS of friends, quantity, but focusing on quality. All we really need is a few really good friends. Even one best friend is wonderful and fulfilling!
I'm extroverted so I meet new people easily, but really most of them are acquaintances. I only go really deep and share my innermost thoughts with a few people and that's enough for me, even as an extrovert!
Begin to Believe It's Easy for You to Make Friends
Both introverts and extroverts can easily make friends. How?
Introverts are known for going deep and really connecting on a more spiritual level with others. They can offer wise counsel. They can also be great listeners! These are traits that can attract such satisfying friendships – use these gifts in your relationships.
Extroverts have the gift of making people feel good around them. They warm up quickly and bring energy and fun to the relationship. These traits also make for wonderful friendships!
Believe You are Worthy of Having Healthy, Supportive Relationships
Part of this belief is knowing you deserve to have healthy, supportive relationships. If you have childhood trauma of any kind, it can be easy to believe you can't ever have or don't deserve love or supportive people in your life. In fact, you could have a pattern of seeking out destructive relationships to prove to yourself this is true – this is how our brains work! Beliefs are SO powerful that we will live out our lives to prove our beliefs to ourselves.
You DO deserve healthy relationships because everyone does. There's nothing you need to do to earn it, but you'll need healing first to believe that fully. I talk about ways to heal in the next section below.
How to Effortlessly Attract the Right Friends
1. Be the Friend You Want to Have
First, be the friend you want to have in your life. Do you want a friend who listens well? Then start doing that for others. Do you want a friend who offers encouragement and makes you feel good? Then start doing that for others. Do you want a friend who will open up and be vulnerable? How about someone who will be there for you when you need it? Then start NOW doing that for others.
Don't expect for others to give you something you're not giving to them.
Also, keep your commitments first to yourself, and then to other people. Respect your friend's time and show up when you say you will!
2. Heal Your Past Wounds
The best way to attract healthy, supportive relationships into your life effortlessly is to heal your own past wounds and heartaches first. We cannot pour from empty, cracked or broken cups well. I have done a LOT of healing work over the past few years and it has freed me emotionally and spiritually – I can give to my friends and family instead of mostly take!
If you find yourself being scared to open up and be vulnerable, I highly recommend getting some help. We ALL need counseling from time to time, just like going to the doctor for a checkup. We need spiritual and emotional check ups! A side note – being scared to open up and being a private person are not the same thing. Even private people will open up to one or two people they trust and are willing to be vulnerable with others – to be themselves without fear.
There are many ways to heal. Yoga classes, meditation, going to a counselor or therapist, Carol Tuttle's Healing Center, talking to your pastor – whichever way resonates with you and works for you.
3. Get Out of the House
As moms, it can be especially tempting to just never leave the house! Hair's a mess, no makeup on and sometimes no bra for that matter – all of which make it hard to get out. Believe me, I know, as a mom of four, there are days I pray I don't have to see a single soul because I look like a hot mess! Sometimes just getting ourselves ready for the day is enough motivation to get out of the house so more and more I'm encouraging myself to do that.
Get involved in your kids' schools, or at church, in local Mom's Club, book clubs, or bunco group. All of those go a long way to helping us meet new people and make a good friend or two. It's totally okay to be a homebody, but even the homebodiest of all homebodies needs a friend or two!
4. Know What You Want in a Friend
Get clear on what it is you want in your friendships. I suggest writing it down in a journal to help you clarify. Clarity is KEY to getting what we want in any area of life? I would write the character qualities and personality qualities that you enjoy being around.
Affirmations Album for Moms and Kids
If you combine the affirmation cards with my affirmations album, you’ll really see transformation in your life! Check out my album here.