How to Not Take Things Personally

Do you struggle with what other people think of you? Would you like to take things less personally? I am finding freedom from worrying about what people think of me and it is liberating!

Imagine Feeling Confident…

Imagine this – you walk into a room feeling confident, standing tall, not thinking even once about what others might be thinking of your hair, clothes, shoes, personality, etc. Imagine posting on Facebook and not worrying about if people will like it. Imagine going for the job or career you really want and only being concerned about how YOU feel about your decision, rather than what your family and friends will think of your decision.

There is a huge amount of freedom when we choose to take nothing personally. - Don Miguel Ruiz

Learned this lesson as a blogger!

I had to learn this early on as a blogger. I have gotten rude and even hateful comments from time to time here on the blog. The larger the blog grew, ┬áthe more they came. That’s the nature of putting ourselves out there. Thankfully I quickly learned that those comments had nothing to do with me, and they say way, way more about the person saying them than they do about me! I mean, really, who has the time and energy to sit behind a keyboard and troll, saying hateful things over the internet? Why would I let that kind of person’s opinions have any power over me?

Everyone is in their own little world

Everyone is in their own little world – what someone else thinks or says of you has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. Their opinion of you will only affect you if you allow it to, IF you give it power over you!

I have found now that I care much, much less about what others think of me I have less people offering their opinions of my life. They can see that I won’t assimilate their beliefs into mine, so they stop trying! Win-win! I don’t feel the need to defend myself for my decisions and trust myself and my own instincts so much more.

Mentally Detach Yourself

I was able to detach myself from their words and attitudes and realize they got their own junkity-junk going on and it doesn’t have anything to do with me. It was so empowering and freeing!

How?

Mentally detach yourself from the situation – as if to stand outside your body and look on the situation like an outsider would. To be able to see the problem is not you, but about the person who has the limiting beliefs, their own hurt and pain they’re dealing with (oftentimes it’s still from childhood that they haven’t dealt with), and you are separate from them. This has helped me tremendously! I now see the truth.

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you. - Abraham Hicks

Happiness is an Inside Job

You cannot make someone else feel happy – happiness is an individual, inside job for each person. We are not responsible for each other’s unhappiness either. No matter the actions of others, we have all of the power over how it makes us feel or what we believe about it.

Our Viewpoint is Made-Up by Us!

People’s opinions and thoughts pass through their own filters, most of which are muddy, brown, and scratched from pain, hardships, and beliefs they pick up along the way. So they see us through their own filters of unworthiness, of not feeling like they are enough, of lack and discouragement. Then they pass opinions on us based on those made-up beliefs! It’s totally illogical that we would then take those opinions to be the truth of what is or who we are!

We do the same to other people. Keep in mind that how you feel about others is a reflection, a mirror, of how you see yourself. If you find yourself jealous of people who seem more successful, more happy, have more money, or a great marriage and family, you’re feeling like you’re not enough. Or feeling like you’re not worthy of love and belonging.

The Four Agreements

This is an amazing book (see it here)! It really helped me to change my perspective on not taking things personally as one of the four agreements is “Don’t Take Anything Personally” by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is a really powerful book that just might shake up everything you currently believe about how the world works!

“In The Four Agreements, bestselling author don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.”

“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” – Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

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