If you were to strip away all labels, would you still feel worthy? For most of us, the answer really is no. We would feel like we aren't contributing or important at all. So how do we find our identity and worth without titles, accomplishments, and labels?
We are more than our labels or titles
I’ve recently been realizing how my identity truly isn’t my story – it’s not where I’ve traveled, not my degree or education, not who I married, not that I’m a mom, or a wife, or my beliefs, or how many kids I have. It’s not even how my parents raised me, my personality type, or that I’m a woman, or American, or white, or 5’ 2” (don’t laugh ) or an entrepreneur, singer, dancer, and certainly not how I appear on social media!
We are not our problems or mistakes
We all have past stories that we’ve relived in our minds and told so many people about that they are now part of our identities. Many stories that we are not even really ready to release. It feels scary not knowing how you’ll live without that label, that title. As silly as it sounds, I’d become a victim of eczema.
We even go so far as to allow ourselves to become victims of that story, or event, or label or experience. What’s your victim story? Do you have an autoimmune disease? A disability? A learning “disability?” Do you have abuse from your past? A traumatic event that you’ve allowed to define you? Fertility issues?
Labels we make up:
- Job title
- List of accomplishments
- Education or lack thereof
- Number of children
- No children
- Married or single
- A disease
- An autoimmune disease
- Weight, body shape or height
- Stage of life
- Skin color
- Personality type
- Love language
- Hair type – curly, straight, kinky, short, long, medium, thin, thick, wiry, etc etc!
- Married, divorced, single
- Twin mom, boy mom, girl mom
- ADHD, ADD, anxiety, depression
- Ancestry, family history
- Our sexuality
- Our mistakes
Is this WHO we are? It's what I used to think I was. But not anymore!
It may sound silly, but I identified with eczema
For the longest time, I had eczema and I identified with the eczema. Two years ago, I started taking some amazing supplements and forgave myself and a few others, and had this massive spiritual cleansing because of it. My eczema disappeared!
It healed and then I missed it!
And guess what? I found it was strange at first, like I MISSED it. It had become my story – I had told so many people about it, I wrote blog posts about it, I taught my business members about it. I had literally let i
t become part of my identity. I had also let many other things become part of my identity.
We even attach ourselves to good things like a degree, or a rank, title, being a “boy mom” or “twin Mom.” It’s a wonderful way to find communities to belong to, but first we must belong to ourselves. And we all belong to each other, and most of all, to God.
What IS our identity?
Our identity is our essence, it’s so much greater than the physical manifestations we see.
Eckhart Tolle, one of my favorite spiritual authors and teachers, says that we are like the ocean. The wave, or ripple on top is what is seen, the physical manifestation. But we are so, so much more than that! We are the vastness of the ocean. We are eternal – many believe we continue living on after this physical life as spiritual beings. Some believe we started as spiritual beings, come into these physical bodies, and go back into the spiritual realm.
None of that can be proved, but for millennia one thing is sure – we humans have always recognized that there is way more to this life that what we are seeing right here and now. And I believe we are all equal, one, all physical manifestations of the glory of the same God who made 430 solar systems in just the Milky Way galaxy alone!!! What?! Try to even imagine just that.
Do you see how labels limit us?
When we begin to believe we ARE our labels, we can completely miss exciting opportunities that come our way because our thinking is so rigid in thinking it not's “who I am.” So we turn it down or miss it altogether. We even miss friendships or relationships because the person doesn't have the same labels as us. What matters more is that you're of like MIND, than the physical manifestations. Though the physical manifestations are often similar for those of like mind.
They put us in tiny little boxes, as if that's all we are. As if your sexuality, job, family situation or religion is all there is to you. For a while, I only took on the identify of being a mom and limited myself to just that. I know many moms can relate to this! We lose ourselves in motherhood, but the issue was that we were lost before becoming mothers.
Strip away all of those labels – are you still worthy?
What would you feel like if all of those labels were stripped away? Would you still be worthy? Would you still be enough? Would you still know that you are massively loved in a way the human mind can’t even begin to comprehend?
To walk in freedom, you must be willing to change your story. Change your identity.
See also, my Top 10 Tips for Emotional Freedom